AI: Out When About
(Due to a post scheduling technical error I have yet to figure out, this AI is a day late, apologies everyone!)
A talk-back radio show my partner recently happened to tune in to ran a segment on transitioning, particularly focusing on the process of changing one's birth certificate to reflect one's preferred gender. While the trans* advocate being interviewed did a good job at explaining the social basis for why this was important, the conversation basically descended into concern-trolling about needing to keep 'historical records accurate'.
While that alone raises many interesting points that we could dissect here (and please feel free to), another point was raised during one of the many derailings of the conversation that I’d like to probe, if possible, for today’s AI.
It was the fear of the hypothetical situation of a couple that have been dating for a short while, during which one withheld knowledge of their trans status to the other, and how this would be totally evil and awful for the unsuspecting person who’d been ‘duped’ the whole time. Firstly, while I think it’s completely up to someone as to whether they choose to share this information with anyone, and that there can be very many legitimate reasons why someone would not wish to, I also personally don't know any trans individual who's done this to their partner, although I do admit, my sampling pool isn’t very large. I was hoping to get more of a consensus on this issue to either build more evidence against this fear-mongering, or, for some reasons as to why the option to not disclose such information might be a valid option for you. Either way, it may potentially be a step in the right direction to send the concern-trolls back to the caves from whence they came. So let me pose the question:
How soon after starting a relationship with someone would you (if at all) consider telling them about your trans status? Do you think it would even be relevant to do so and why/why not?
The Afternoon Inqueery (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Queereka community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, at 3pm ET.