Recently Fox News, that bastion of journalistic excellence, showed a piece on asexuality. It was balanced, respectful and well-researched – I really think it’ll increase visibility and acceptance.
Nah, only kidding. (Here’s a petition asking Fox News to try actually engaging with some asexual people next time they decide to feature a segment on them.)
There are a lot of things that frustrate me, many of which fall under the remit of Queereka or, more specifically, relate to asexuality. This video includes about a dozen of them, but I think my personal least favourite is that being asexual is boring. This is perhaps one of the less harmful frustrating things, but it’s also a variant of something I’ve had drummed into me for most of my life, which is probably why it annoys me in particular. That’s not to say it’s not harmful at all though – the attitude of “this is how much sex you must have before you’re considered acceptable [BUT NO MORE THAN THAT]” breeds feelings of inadequacy in people of all levels of attraction. It also plays into the idea of asexual people being broken or freakish, as well as subtly implying that asexuality is the result of undesirability. It’s certainly more a reflection of the people who say it than the people to whom they say it (and the society in which all those people live).
I actually encountered the “x makes you boring” face to face recently, though in that instance it was being teetotal that was meant to dictate how interesting you are. This person, a nutritionist, also told me that eating more oily fish would cure a decade worth of depression and anxiety. You’ll be pleased to hear I’m not currently downing salmon daquiris in an attempt to make my life worth living.
What responses to your sexuality or gender (or any other important aspect of yourself) do you find most frustrating and why? How do you deal with them?
The Afternoon Inqueery (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Queereka community. Look for it to appear on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, at 3pm ET.
(Featured image by Steve Berry on Flickr.)