Sorting Out the Confusion: A Bisexual Q&A
Last week almost eight hundred of you fabulous fluid queermos voted on the bisexual agenda . As a group of people who are notoriously confused, many of you took the opportunity to air your questions about life, the universe, and everything. Here are your answers.
For the multiple people that had questions about taxes, I hate to break the bad news, but they were due last month. Maybe take this chance to meet and become friends in the comments section with other bisexuals who live abroad, preferably in non-extradition countries
Q1. What is the correct percentage of genders if I’m a Kinsey 2
A. 2.5 heterosexuals for every homosexual
Q2. Why Gillian Anderson is not an option in all these questions
A. Because we are not worthy
3Q why do you park on a driveway but drive on a parkway?
A. Driveways were originally much longer, they come from the old manor houses where you would enter the property and then drive along a beautiful, potentially miles long “driveway” that would get you to the main house. The name stuck as the driveways got shorter and more bougie. Parkways are refering not to“parking” but to parks, since parkways are supposed to be scenic drives, it’s literally the way along the park
4Q. Why do I have chronic headaches now?
A. 1)You need glasses. 2) You have allergies or some type of intolerance. 3) You are stressed. Some combination of the three.
5Q. How can people not like tities? how can people not like peneses?
A. Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die.
Q6 Why did I wait until the night before to write this 10-page physics paper?
A. The adrenaline rush of battling a deadline makes you feel alive.
Q7. What are the real health benefits of potatoes?
A. The skins have lots of nutrients but make sure to clean them properly!
Q8. wombat poo. why is it cube shaped?!
A. Culturally the wombat’s were hugely influenced by Picasso.
Q10.How is everyone hot, yet I still can’t find a date
A. The bisexuals dilemma has no answer.
Q11. How is it possible that I’m both bisexual AND agender? Tumblr keeps telling me I’m binarist, should I get licensed for pansexuality or just continue living as a paradox?
A. Bisexuality means you are attracted to more than one gender. So you still one hundred percent fit the bisexual label, although if you decide pansexual works better for you, that’s awesome as well!
Q12. Why is the world in love again? Why are we marching hand in hand? Why are the ocean levels rising up?
A. Global warming.
Q13. Where would you even find a Horse-Sized Duck?
A. In my nightmares
Q14. Why don’t I have pizza?
A. You haven’t picked up the phone and ordered any. Yet.
Q15. Magnets! How the fuck do they work?
A. The north pole and south pole are attracted to each other, science happens, magnets work.
Q16. Why can’t I do what I desperately want to do when it is doable?
A. You are over thinking it. Find a small goal inside your larger goal. Try the first step. Take a breath. Try the second step. Have a cup of coffee. Try the third step. Take a nap. Take the fourth step, fail. Restart until it works.
Q17. If life ain’t just a joke then why are we laughing?
A. Life is definitely joke, someone lied to you.
Q18. Kittens. Namely why I cannot, personally, birth them instead of human spawn.
A. If you believe hard enough your dreams will come true!
Q19. why do straight girl crushes need to exist?
A. To help you avoid forming healthy relationships.
Q20. If I kiss a bisexual in a forest and no one is there to see it, does the bisexual make a sound?
A. Depends, are you a good kisser?
Q21. What is it about cardboard boxes that cats go wild for?
A. Homeownership is a sign of success, even in cat world.
Q22. How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?
A. I think it really depends on your style. A hard lick will be faster and will probably help you reach the goal quicker but sometimes slowing down with a high quantity of soft, slow licks will give you a better experience.
Q23. Where the fuck did I put my headphones?
A. I found a pair of headphones on the ground the other day, pink with zebra stripes. Sound like yours?
If you have any other questions, leave them in the comments and I will attempt to answer them!