Benny Vimes's Posts

In Testosterone Veritas

In Testosterone Veritas

On Cracked yesterday a trans man named Roman Jones wrote about 6 Awful Lessons I Learned Transitioning from Female to Male. Some of the stuff in there felt similar to my experiences, though it’s been awhile (9 years) since I had to bind and much of this stuff applies more to the transition process than the stage of life I’m at now. I found his commentary about medical care especially o... »

Are Your Commitments Really So Fragile?

Are Your Commitments Really So Fragile?

Did you know you’re being unfaithful to your partner if you talk to other people? According to Gary and Joy Lundberg (who apparently can’t even write an article without each other) over on FamilyShare you are being unfaithful to your spouse and don’t even know it.. They consider a whole range of things to be tantamount to cheating, such as sending condolence letters and calling y... »

Changing Times: Unexpected Side Effects

Changing Times: Unexpected Side Effects

I come from a large extended family. My parents are from one of those religious traditions where people tend to have a lot of kids, so I have more than my fair share of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Until recently I hadn’t seen any of them in over half my lifetime. I did not attend my grandmothers’ funerals, my cousins’ weddings, or any other extended family function for 16 years. ... »

Baby, it’s Consent Outside

Baby, it’s Consent Outside

So this is what my spouse and I got up to tonight, since the holidays are coming up AND it’s cold and snowy in Chicago. I thought I’d share it with all of you. Visual description for those who can’t see the video: Two people (me and my spouse) sitting on a couch. We start out kissing before they start singing and hold hands through the video. Transcript: To the tune of “Bab... »

Driver’s License Update

Driver’s License Update

Last week I wrote about my first attempt at getting an Illinois drivers license. It didn’t go well, and I planned to return with a college transcript as proof of my birthdate. On Thursday I got my transcript in the mail. Transcripts are only official if they are still sealed in their original envelope so I took it to the DMV without opening it. When it was opened by the nice woman behind the... »

In Which I Attempt To Get a New Driver’s License

In Which I Attempt To Get a New Driver’s License

I moved from Wisconsin to Illinois a year ago, but I had no reason to update my driver’s license until now. I have gotten a new job and for complex reasons it requires that I have a driver’s license with my current address on it so I went to go get this done. Getting a valid ID can be complicated for a lot of people, but for trans* people who have had our name and/or gender changed on ... »

Responses to Your Search Terms – Gay Men Edition!

Responses to Your Search Terms – Gay Men Edition!

CN: Sex and sexuality, anal sex, toxic masculinity. Captain Awkward does this cool thing where she occasionally writes posts in which she responds to questions that people have typed into Google that lead them to her blog. I think this is brilliant, so I am going to do the same. This will be done occasionally, basically when I have the time and when there are interesting search terms to address! T... »

Moving the Goalpost on Polyamorous Success

Moving the Goalpost on Polyamorous Success

A few weeks ago Miri from Brute Reason on Freethought Blogs wrote a post for The Friendly Atheist called Debunking Four Myths about Polyamory. It was also cross posted to her blog and her Facebook page. The post itself was fine, but I found myself reading through the comments on The Friendly Atheist site and dwelling on a criticism of polyamory that I see crop up fairly often. The basic complaint ... »

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