Kink

When Kinksters Don’t Want to Risk ANYTHING

When Kinksters Don’t Want to Risk ANYTHING

Recently someone on Fetlife in the Minnesota kink scene posted a proposed draft of advice for how newbies should attend a munch. In the kink world a munch is a casual public gathering of kinky people for conversation and socialization. It usually takes place in a restaurant, coffee shop, or bar. Generally they are open to anyone and are often the first thing new people do when entering the kinky s... »

Myths and Misconceptions About Kink

Myths and Misconceptions About Kink

Our culture is full of myths, misconceptions, and confusion about kink, BDSM, and fetishes. We’re going to address 10 of them here; 5 in this article and another coming soon. For each of the misconceptions there will be two answers: one from Benny and one from Cheyenne. That way you can get two different perspectives, but it is also worth saying that like any other identity we can’t sp... »

Kinksters, Time for a Change

Kinksters, Time for a Change

This post discusses kink, harassment, abuse, and sexual assault in generalities (not specifics). It may be triggering for some, and may not be appropriate for those who do not want to read about the kink community. Feel free to skip it if those things make you uncomfortable. There has always been a low-level rumbling in the kink community about how to deal with those who ignore boundaries, harass ... »

Sunday School: On Non-Abuse

Sunday School: On Non-Abuse

So, I have some acquaintances–a husband/wife pair who are also in a D/S relationship. This typically involves him doing all sorts of generally mean things to her, which she, of course, enjoys. I also have this OTHER acquaintance who I managed to start discussing BDSM stuff with who couldn’t really believe that it wasn’t actually an abusive relationship. “She doesn’t r... »

Sunday School: On Top Shopping

Sunday School: On Top Shopping

Let’s say you’re not plugged into the BDSM community in your area, but have been exchanging flirtatious overtures with a very hot person on Fetlife who wants to tie you. How do you pre-screen for doms that aren’t going to murder you to death? –TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL Another week, another question about bondage. My life is very hard. »

Sunday School: On Kink for Beginners

Sunday School: On Kink for Beginners

I’ve recently become interested in exploring BDSM. My partner is somewhat kinky, and I think he’d be into experimenting, too. What resources can you recommend for BDSM beginners to learn more about getting started? Do you have any suggestions for starter “equipment” one can buy on a budget? –Newbie Sure! But before you get excited about any of the stuff I’m abou... »

Sunday School: On Bondage

Sunday School: On Bondage

A question for Sunday School: Is it true that bondage is more prevalent in the queer community? I have often been told by the x-phobic people in my life that fetishes are consistent with mental illness. Does bondage pose psychological risks? –A. I have some bad news for you, A. Literally every experience poses psychological risks. ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE, etc. »

Queer Health: Healthcare Providers and You

Queer Health: Healthcare Providers and You

This piece wouldn’t be complete without the hard work that Natalie Reed has done, both from a research standpoint and from graciously sharing her experience and wisdom in navigating the medical system herself. I’ve taken a lot of what she said and woven throughout my original piece. However, any mistakes or shortcomings are my own, so feel free to lay into me! If you have comments abou... »