The questions people throw at you when you come out to them tend to be (to describe it gently) disrespectful of personal boundaries. Because it weirds me out so much to answer them all, I try to pre-build the patience to put up with it and get on with my life, which generally does the trick.
That is, until they ask about girl sex and how it’s done.
The first time it happened, I had no idea what to even think. I was hit in the face with a blunt “so how is it that you have sex?” and I must have spent several minutes just trying to make sense of the question. Then I gave back something along the very wise lines of “Huh… with our bodies and stuff.” And while I still regard that as a perfectly fine answer, there’s a ridiculousness of sorts attached to the questioning that just begs for something more elaborate.
Every time someone asks that question, what they’re really asking is “so how is it that you have sex, you know, if you don’t have a penis and all?” And while I could provide a list with a variety of forms of penis-less sex, that wouldn’t really make my point. (Plus I’m pretty sure there are books out there that satisfactorily cover that base with very graphic details.)
It’s just baffling how naturally people will ask queer people about their sex lives.
Has anything similar happened to you? How do you deal with the invasive nature of people’s curiosity? Do you try to call them out on their inappropriateness?
The Afternoon Inqueery (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Queereka community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays at 3pm ET.