Santorum, out

I almost thought this day would never come… ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary folk, His Frothiness has left the building:

Facing mounting pressure and the prospect of an embarrassing loss in his home state of Pennsylvania next week, Rick Santorum suspended his campaign for the presidency today.

“We made a decision over the weekend that this presidential race is over for me,” he said at a press conference in Pennsylvania moments ago. “We will suspend our campaign effective today.”

The fact that this monster no longer has a shot at the presidency makes me want to do backflips (ok, maybe not literally).  An almost infinite source of comedic material for Jon Stewart, his campaign was constantly marred by many, many, many, many gaffes, leaving us all to wonder when he would finally call it quits. The day has finally come, but not without a touch of sadness; his daughter’s condition is worsening. I know I speak for many people when I wish you nothing but the best Bella, I sincerely hope you find an amazing life.

Truthfully, the fact that he made it this far leaves the mind boggled, but what really terrifies me is the fact that Santorum actually won a few states. His extreme anti-LGBT position, coupled with a thinly veiled racist tendency and a seemingly incessant need to invade the private lives of Americans (he wanted to outlaw porn) should have turned off all but the most extreme conservative voter, or so I thought. The states he carried show just how much work we have left.

Good riddance Santorum, I hope the only thing you’re remembered for is the disgusting definition of your last name.