AI: Accomplishments
By (This past two weeks have been a bit rough, so I figured I could use a lighter AI than usual. Right? So, okay.) Due to my turning twenty years-old next weekend, I’ve been constantly thinking of what I have accomplished so far in my life and what I had planned to have done thus far.
Among some of the most practical goals that I actually managed to achieve (learning – or at least getting started with – a fourth language, getting a real job that I actually like, getting to know my country a little better), I think what I’m most proud of is knowing what I want to do for the rest of my life, and understanding that a big part of it has nothing to do whatsoever with the profession I chose: I want to write.
Fiction and real stuff, papers and letters, politics and all those things that may or may not change the world a bit. Writing is the only thing that remained static in my life since… well, since I learned how to do it. (And Queereka is areally big step at that, which is why one of my current goals is being a slightly better contributor over here).
So I wanted to ask you, from a point in life where my biggest accomplishment is figuring out what I want to accomplish:
What did/do you plan to do with your life when you were/are twenty? How is that different from how you live and what you’re planning right now?
The Afternoon Inqueery (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Queereka community. Look for it to appear on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays at 3pm ET.
I have come to a simular conclusion. I am now in my early 30s. After years in the field of I.T. and software engineering. And then suffering from a disabling movement disorder. As I am working toward DBS or other long term treatment. I have been re-evaluting my future goals, my life, and etc. and I have one constant as well. For me its been music. So that is where I have been focusing my energy for my past two years.
I’ll be 31 in a couple of weeks, and the place that I am at now is nothing I’d have ever imagined at 20. I really had no goals or direction at 20. I was really struggling to figure out who I was (something I’m still working on, though I have a much better idea now than I did 11 years ago–this wasn’t something I really felt comfortable with until my late 20s).
So, I honestly have no idea what I thought I would do at 20.
When I was 20, I was depressed and just starting to self-medicate. Somehow I was managing double think. On one hand I had a lot of anxiety over my gender, and on the other I was in complete denial.
I also knew that I wanted to be a programmer and work in video games. Because of all the rest I was failing out of college and on suspension.
I eventually suppressed the gender issues, got my educational situation improved, and graduated with a CS degree.
Fourteen years later, I’m a professional game developer, and have been for over a decade. I am only now starting to deal with the other stuff and have taken steps at transition – which has been incredibly position for my mental outlook.
I’m turning 27 next month, so wait a second while I travel in my time machine to the distant past of 2005.
Seriously, I would never be 20 again. It was in college, going back and forth over what I’d major in, and dealing with the break-up of my first relationship (which was largely my own fault). Also, I was terrified of admitting and going after the things I wanted. My biggest success at the time was leaving the small town I’d grown up in.
Since then, I’ve graduated college, work in a job that’s okay for now, and am making slow, but measurable progress to achieving what I want from life.
20 was just about exactly 10 years ago for me (I turned 30 in March). When I was 20 I started Testosterone. It is high on the short list of the best decisions of my life.
At 20 I also was intending to get married (I did at 22, and divorced at 25), wanting to find a stable job that paid enough to live on (I did, and quit 6 months ago), and wanting to make and keep friends (none of whom I am close to now).
I didn’t start taking college classes until I was 26, so my path to education was pretty different than most people.
I am glad I did all those things the way I did them. Yes, I made some mistakes – but the lessons I have learned from them have been totally worth it.