Last week, I was out of town with a couple of friends for a congress. While looking for good places to get food for the rest of the week, we got into a sandwich shop that seemed pretty good.
When the waiter brought the check in, he hesitated for a second and then handed it out to the only guy on the table, which for us was a bit of a joke because he was short on cash and we were going to pay his share.
The next day, we went there again. Same place, same time, same waiter. Except this time, when he came it to hand in the check, he pretended to hand it out to me and, at the last minute, turned it back and gave it, again, to the only male present. He then turned to me and said “ha”.
I didn’t think it was worth it to make a big deal out of it – it was very unlikely anyone from the restaurant would take me seriously, the waiter wouldn’t agree he did anything wrong, it would be very stressful, etc. So that day we didn’t tip him and we did not come back to that place, and that was it.
Have you ever been through a situation, whatever the dimensions of it, where you were clearly discriminated based on (apparent) gender and could do nothing about it? How did you deal with it?
The Afternoon Inqueery (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Queereka community. Look for it to appear on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays at 3pm ET.