I recently read this post from The Pervocracy, which is about the idea of “green flags.” These are sort of the opposite of “red flags,” in that they are things that can demonstrate good things about a person when you’re getting to know them. In a potential romantic relationship green flags are things that a person does that demonstrate respect, strong relationship skills, and emotional maturity.
I LOVE this idea. Instead of just focusing on red flags (things that indicate someone is dangerous, or just a bad match) it makes sense to also talk about the things that indicate positive features and respect from someone early on in getting to know them.
I like the ones listed on The Pervocracy quite a bit, but there is a big one for me that is important to me: Saying positive things about their previous relationships/ex-partners is really good. Having friendships with previous partners is even better. That shows maturity and good communication to me better than nearly anything else. It doesn’t need to be ALL of their ex-partners of course (lots of people have a terrible, immature, or abusive ex) but when someone has a long list of people they can’t stand to be in the same room with because they used to date, it worries me. Having an ex with whom there is still friendship or at least positive things to say is great.
What are your green flags for romantic relationships? What things can someone do or say in the first few dates that indicates emotional maturity and respect to you?