On August 4th, Come See Scenic #Twitter!


Hello Queereka! Anna here, midly internet-famous Twitter Misandrist and 7th most hated person on Reddit. I am honored to be selected to write articles here and hope that this “blog web” format will be both exciting and enriching for all of us! Since I don’t understand “blog webs” entirely yet, I thought it would be cool to show “blog webs” people what is cool about Twitter just in time to join us on August 4th for the Best Twitter Day Ever!

So first let’s explain twitter a little bit. It’s not quite like Face Book or Blog Webs or even Read It like you may be used to. Twitter is kind of like AM Radio, but for the internet. What this means is basically being loud, angry, and blunt works really well, so maybe you have to be different on Twitter than on other Internet. Sometimes Twitter doesn’t translate well to other Internets, kind of like that time Rush Limbaugh had a TV show, so please come experience it for yourself to fully enjoy it!

Two dweebs, one in a fedora and silk flame shirt holding a handwritten sign that says MEN'S RIGHTS!! while his pasty friend in a ball cap and t-shirt gives the thumbs up in front of some pretty swank looking vending machines.
These males likely have a Read It account that they mainly use, and a barely used Twitter account only used to threaten women because, well, males are scum basically.

What’s even better is that Twitter now has an updated Abuse Policy that basically says it’s your fault if someone heaps abuse on you for using Twitter, which can be scary, but this means you can do whatever you want with impunity! Just don’t claim you’re being abused and everything will be fine.

a screenshot of the twitter feedback form for the new abuse policy where I call it trash written by clueless white dudes basically
Please tell Twitter how you feel about their wonderful new abuse policy! Rebecca Watson said I had to include pictures in my Blog Web entries.

The reason this policy exists is a bunch of weird white people that worship at the alter of CIVILITY and RATIONAL DISCOURSE at the expense of literally everything else got really mad and made a stink and Actual Media Outlets even started covering it because, well, the stated reason is getting awful rape and death threats which are of course bad who could argue that? The not-stated reason is that a bunch of white feminists (the “Cult of Nice“) are mad that uppity people who are also women but at the same time maybe a person of color and/or transgender might say something that disagrees with them, so it’s important to have a button that they can all mash to shut them up and spare themselves the horrors of dealing with their own cognitive dissonance.

a twitter conversation where caitlin moran says she doesnt give a shit that girls and lena dunham are problematic racist crap
This is the Fearless Leader behind #twittersilence bravely standing up for White Supremacy. Remember, being nice is literally the most important thing, as in the most important thing is to be nice to cis white able women while they say bigoted shit because of reasons.

The new policy is basically the old one restated, but with more emphasis that it’s YOUR fault if you get “trolled.” I think this isn’t what the Cult of Nice really wanted but are declaring victory I guess, and they’re still doing some boycott of Twitter on August 4th anyway. They’re doing like a “don’t silence us!” thing by silencing themselves. Don’t ask me to explain it I can’t, but this means tomorrow will have less really obnoxious and whiny bigots that fancy themselves the Queen of Progressive on Twitter, so it’s a good time to get started.

So if you’re new to twitter, or have let an account languish for years that you occasionally link to your Blog Webs but don’t really use to its full potential, let me show you some of the fun and cool things you can do!

  1. A Daily Ritual is to remind @RichardDawkins that he’s a dick. As long as you don’t threaten his horse he won’t block you. Remember if you begin a tweet with an at sign, only people who follow the person you mention will see the tweet, and nobody you care about follows Richard Dawkins, so you can put a dot before it, like “.@RichardDawkins your a dick” or get creative “hey @RichardDawkins your a dick”.

    Wao, so deep, cool Dick thanks for the insight, now go on about how much you hate people who aren’t white or able some more, or you know, don’t, that’d be even better.

  2. Follow @RlCHARDDAWKlNS instead whomever runs that account is a better Richard Dawkins than Richard Dawkins.

    I could go on.

  3. Find people that don’t “get” Tropes vs Women videos or anything Anita Sarkeesian does by looking at responses to @femfreq and engage in Misandry Activities. I actually changed someone’s mind the other day by doing this, it was weird. This isn’t usually what happens however, so don’t expect it.

    a twitter where i am responding to some guy asking what anita sarkeesian thought about portal and portal 2 with
    There are better examples but I’m trying to keep this guide Family Friendly here. He’s still a concern troll male piece of shit though, and if I were to send this tweet and it upset him, it would be his fault according to the new Twitter Abuse Policy.
  4. Oh yeah do the above but with people who agree with Richard Dawkins tweets. Bonus: if you’re a white male, Richard Dawkins himself may be willing to engage with you! Real people are out of luck on that one, though.

    a twitter where richard dawkins says something racist about islam, someone replies saying they sound like the EDL, then someone replies with some smug shit about logic and reason, then i reply saying that the logic and reason is that their posting is terrible
  5. If you still don’t “get” twitter read a bunch of @dril tweets until you do.

    If anyone ever tells you that the “smacks of gender” tweet isn’t the best tweet of all time, they are objectively wrong. If you argue with this, you hate logic, reason, and free speech.

I hope this is enough to get you started enjoying Twitter with the new Terms of Service! You will also want to find people who are cool or that you like and follow them and #engage with them so that you have a fun and interesting timeline. I like Intersectional Feminism and Intersectional Feminist Video Game Designers for instance so that is who I follow for the most part. It might take some effort just like any other social network, but it is worth it!

If you think I use too much REVERSE RACISM MISANDRY in this article you can send comments to @FakeRobotGamer or down below go ahead I dare you!

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    • Ah yes I am very familiar with the works of Hugo Schwyzer, every time I see something Hugo Schwyzer is involved with I don’t read it. The feeling of not reading anything by our about Hugo Schwyzer is a very familiar feeling to me I feel it 100% of the time!

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