When you’re trans and you’re just figuring out what to do about it, it’s sometimes hard to believe that anything will ever actually change for the better. If you suffer from physical dysphoria, the idea of not hating your body sounds pretty far-fetched. Even when you’ve set yourself on the course and taken steps in the direction you want to go, the process is agonizingly slow.
And then, one day, you realize something. For me, it was “I haven’t cringed at the sound of my own voice in weeks.” I knew my voice had bothered me, but I hadn’t realized just how much hating what I heard every time I opened my mouth affected me until that pressure was lifted off my shoulders. I know that when my girlfriend realized that every time she looked down she saw breasts she had a similar experience of relief.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty small. It certainly hasn’t solved all my problems, or gotten rid of all my dysphoria, by any stretch of the imagination. But it feels like a major turning point. I feel like I should have a party or something.
Have you had a dramatic change for the better? Did you celebrate? Would you like to come to my party?