- You will realize that Ruby Rose is just as drop dead gorgeous in real life
- After careful observation you conclude that it was her cheekbones that cut heternormativity in half.
- Also she’s unexpectedly tiny. You could probably pick her up and spin her around dramatically while making out without ever having worked out before.
- She’s wearing a shirt that has TWINK emblazoned across it in bold black letters. You realize the accuracy of this statement because earlier in the evening you mistook a skinny, buzzcut teenage boy for her .
- The venue will be 90% hot queer 20 something women.
- That is the perfect demographic.
- Someone in that room got married that evening.
- You will spend 50% of your time staring at Ruby Rose, 20% dancing rapturously, and the other 30% trying to figure out of the hottie next to you is dating the girl she’s dancing with or they are just good friends. You will never figure it out.
- At some point in the night you will guilty steal away to the other rooms to listen to other DJs because Ruby Rose is liiiitle bit top 40 for your taste.
- The men’s bathroom becomes gender neutral.
- A slightly older more moneyed woman offers you ten dollars to cut the bathroom line, you sell out everyone behind you without hesitation and go buy yourself another drink.
- Ruby Rose will lift her arms up to the sky, like an ancient goddess and a 500+ voices will scream in unison.
- Ruby Rose has way less chill than expected, she looked so damn excited about everyone being excited to see her.
- But actually the DJ in the room next store is way better so this is awkward.
- Ruby Rose has the biggest phone in the world, it’s huge. I don’t know if this a metaphor for anything.
- You consider proposing to someone just because.
- Someone retweets a photo of the White House lit up in rainbows and you tear up just a tiny bit.
- You buy yourself another drink and toast to Ruby Rose, and to yourself and to love and equality, and then to Ruby Rose again.
- You leave (with a sober driver) and realize even though it’s only two minutes past, you already have a parking ticket.
K.C. is a recently graduated bisexual trying to make a few bucks of her encyclopedic knowledge of every fluid character ever portrayed on television. You can follow her at twitter.com/katieokeefe22
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