Category: Kinks

So What If I Wasn’t Born This Way

By Benny Vimes

On July 17, 2015

The “born this way” story of queer identity is one most people in modern developed countries know well. It is applied to people of all sexual orientations and to trans people, especially binary trans people, and tells us that the right way to be queer follows a common structure. We have to know we were […]

BDSM , Coming Out , Discrimination , Kinks , Media Portrayals of BDSM

Movie Review: 50 Shades of Snore

By Allie T Jones

On February 14, 2015

Who knew BDSM on the big screen could be so boring? 50 Shades of Grey is the first in a trilogy of Twilight-fan-fiction-turned-erotic-bestsellers by E.L. James. In the movie adaptation, which premie

Intersectionality , Kinks , Politics / Activism

I For One Welcome Our New Affirmative Consent Overlords

By Rachel

On October 4, 2014

As you may have heard, last Sunday California enacted a new “Yes Means Yes” statute governing state university policy towards sexual assault. This law has been a while in coming, and the u

When Kinksters Don’t Want to Risk ANYTHING

By Benny Vimes

In Activism , Discrimination , Intersectionality , Kinks , Transgender

On August 20, 2013

Recently someone on Fetlife in the Minnesota kink scene posted a proposed draft of advice for how newbies should attend a munch. In the kink world a munch is a casual public gathering of kinky people for conversation and socialization. It usually takes place in a restaurant, coffee shop, or bar. Generally they are open […]

Kinks , Sex & Sexuality

Myths and Misconceptions About Kink

By Benny Vimes

On February 1, 2013

Our culture is full of myths, misconceptions, and confusion about kink, BDSM, and fetishes. We’re going to address 10 of them here; 5 in this article and another coming soon. For each of the mis

Feminism , Kinks , Politics / Activism , Sex & Sexuality

Kinksters, Time for a Change

By Benny Vimes

On August 20, 2012

This post discusses kink, harassment, abuse, and sexual assault in generalities (not specifics). It may be triggering for some, and may not be appropriate for those who do not want to read about the k

Sunday School: On Non-Abuse

By Rachel

In Kinks , Sex & Sexuality , Sunday School

On April 1, 2012

So, I have some acquaintances–a husband/wife pair who are also in a D/S relationship. This typically involves him doing all sorts of generally mean things to her, which she, of course, enjoys. I also have this OTHER acquaintance who I managed to start discussing BDSM stuff with who couldn’t really believe that it wasn’t actually […]

Kinks , Sex & Sexuality , Sunday School

Sunday School: On Top Shopping

By Rachel

On March 11, 2012

Let’s say you’re not plugged into the BDSM community in your area, but have been exchanging flirtatious overtures with a very hot person on Fetlife who wants to tie you. How do you pre-scr

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